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Our home is a structured sober living household providing a supportive place to recover from drug and alcohol dependence.  In providing a safe, structured, and stable housing for alcohol and drug dependent individuals seeking recovery. We are dedicated to empowering people with the tools and the skills to live healthy and productive lives. Through working the 12 Steps we understand that recovery is possible. Our home is committed to providing a drug and alcohol free setting in which to begin the recovery process.


Sober homes in Coachella Valley range from $600 to $2000 per month per bed and there are long waiting lists that make them difficult to access. The owner of Tolar Sober Living is committed to providing an affordable, accessible sober-living environment for recovering alcohol and drug dependent individuals.  Tolar Sober Living is open in Rancho Mirage, California.

Tolar Sober Living is committed to promoting personal discipline, a strong work ethic and a spiritual foundation of service and involvement through the 12 Steps. This democratically managed living environment is designed for those who need time in a safe, supportive environment to establish a sober foundation. The spiritual philosophy found in the 12 Steps and Traditions will serve as the program’s foundation and guiding principles. Tolar Sober Living will house 6 men and will serve as a bridge linking men from a residential recovery environment or treatment to the broader recovering community. Through a strong emphasis on service, sponsorship and practicing the principles in all our affairs, Tolar Sober Living will create an environment where individuals are committed to developing and practicing the spiritual principles and disciplines so necessary to recovery. This growing experience of “community” will be accomplished through full-time/part-time employment or volunteer work, the practice of daily spiritual disciplines and by active involvement in 12 Step Programs.

Financial viability will be maintained through affordable, yet self-supporting, contribution from guests as well as funds secured from individuals. Reimbursement for housing from insurers or government agencies will not be accepted by Tolar Sober Living. The goal will be to provide sober housing for $1,250 per bed per month. This fee will include monthly contribution, utilities, local/long distance phone service, internet and Wi-Fi service, gym membership and some foods.

Tolar Sober Living’s Task Force will consist of other sober living owners, The Riverside County Sober Living Coalition and selected community leaders; and will meet regularly to review this Operational Plan and its implementation.


The objective of Tolar Sober Living is to develop a sober-living environment for people seeking recovery from alcoholism and drug dependency, utilizing the spiritual principles found in the 12 Steps.

Tolar Sober Living’s program will be designed and implemented in a manner to assure quality and cost effectiveness. Tolar Sober Living will have access to community providers and professionals to assure that those needing clinical help have access to the types of programs and services most likely to promote their recovery. The strength of the environment will be in the network of sponsors and volunteers working in conjunction with the peer-managed (with owner oversight) family-style recovery environment.


Tolar Sober Living will offer six beds for men 18 years of age and over whose primary problem is alcoholism and drug dependency. Tolar Sober Living’s home will be designed to assist the alcohol and drug dependent individual in the transition to a sober and productive life. The average length of stay will range from 3 to 12 months. A 3-month minimum commitment is required.


The following are the acceptance criteria for Tolar Sober Living Guests:

  • Males aged 18 and over.
  • Must be willing and motivated to participate actively in drug or alcohol related 12 step fellowships
  • Must be in recovery from alcoholism or drug dependency.
  • Must be sober and chemically free for a minimum 30 days.
  • Must be willing and able to hold a full-time/part-time job.
  • Must be mentally and physically capable of meeting personal needs.
  • Must be able to meet all financial obligations to Tolar Sober Living.
  • Must commit to participating fully and positively in the mutual family living environment of Tolar Sober Living.


The guest responsibilities and code of ethics at Tolar Sober Living consist of the following:

  1. All guests are to always remain abstinent, and all guest visitors must be alcohol and drug free while visiting.
  2. Be dedicated to recognizing the dignity and worth of all human beings.
  3. Practicing daily spiritual disciplines.
  4. Working a full-time/part-time job or volunteer work, 40 hours or less per week. Attend IOP or School. (Must reach one of these goals within 60 days)
  5. Completing daily and weekly household chores (as provided in household chore chart).
  6. Sharing in all responsibilities promoting the orderly management of the house.
  7. Attend at least four outside 12 Step meetings a week. One of which is an all men’s or stag meeting. (This does not include the weekly house meeting.)
  8. Working closely with a sponsor at least one day a week on the 12 Steps.
  9. Must have drug or alcohol related 12 Step service commitment once a week, outside of the house meeting.
  10. By 9:00 a.m. beds made, rooms clean and deep clean bedrooms once a week on Sundays before 1pm.
  11. Keep current cell phone/contact number on house white board.


The house rules of Tolar Sober Living are as follows:

  1. No use of mood-altering chemicals.
  2. No physical violence or threats of violence in the home or on the property.
  3. No smoking in the building (smoking section in the back yard only).
  4. All guests are to submit to random alcohol and drug testing at the request of Tolar Sober Living and the Sober Living Coalition.
  5. All guests are prohibited from becoming romantically or sexually involved with other guests.
  6. All guests will respect the privacy and personal belongings of all guests.
  7. No weapons are allowed in home or on the property.
  8. All guests must attend the weekly 4:30 p.m. Sunday house meeting. (This meeting is not to be included in guests’ four outside drug or alcohol related 12 step meetings).
  9. All guest contributions must be paid every month and all guests are to also contribute to all common household products (toilet paper, dish soap, etc.).
  10. No visitors are allowed in guests’ bedrooms at any time. All visitors must be off the property Sunday through Thursday by 10:00 p.m. and Fridays and Saturdays by 11:00 p.m.; and no visitation before 10:00 a.m.
  11. Curfew is as follows:
    1. First 30 days in the house, there will be no overnight stays away from the house. All guests must be in house Sunday through Thursday by 11:00 p.m. and Friday and Saturday by midnight.
    2. After 30 days in house, overnight stays on weekends only, no more than two consecutive nights (exceptions will be made on out-of-town issues, funeral, court, etc.). On all overnight stays, you must let the house know by marking the board when you are leaving and when you will back. All guests must be in house Sunday through Thursday by midnight and Friday and Saturday by 1:00 a.m.
    3. After 90 days in house guests may have overnight rights anytime but must mark the board and let the house know.


  1. Tolar Sober Living has at its primary goal the provision of safe and supportive housing that promotes a spiritually grounded recovery from alcoholism and drug dependency.
  2. Tolar Sober Living operates on a democratic basis.
  3. No guest of Tolar Sober Living is ever asked to leave without cause (e.g., a dismissal vote by guests because of drinking, drug use or disruptive behavior, failure to meets expectation of the home).
  4. Tolar Sober Living is not affiliated with any drug or alcohol related 12 step programs, organizationally or financially, but guests realize that only active participation in drug or alcohol related 12 step programs offer assurance of continued sobriety.
  5. Each Tolar Sober Living guest should be autonomous except in matters affecting other guests or Tolar Sober Living.
  6. Tolar Sober Living should remain forever non-professional, although individual guests may be encouraged to utilize outside professionals whenever such utilization is likely to enhance recovery from drug or alcohol dependence.
  7. Propagation of the Tolar Sober Living concept should always be conceived as public education rather than promotion. Principles should always be placed before personalities.
  8. Guests who leave Tolar Sober Living in good standing are encouraged to become associate guests and offer friendship, support, and example to newer guests.


In choosing to live at Tolar Sober Living, a mutually managed, democratically operated sober living environment, we are agreeing to abide by the following rules & expectations.

  1. There are six major rules at Tolar Sober Living: (1) No use of mood-altering chemicals including alcohol; (2) No exclusive or sexual relationships with any guest of Tolar Sober Living (male or female); (3) No violence or threats of violence; (4) No Smoking in the building (smoking in designated areas of back yard only); (5) Submit to alcohol and drug testing; and (6) No weapons in or on the property. Violations of any of these rules will be grounds for immediate dismissal from Tolar Sober Living.
  2. If you relapse you will have to leave Tolar Sober Living immediately – NO EXCEPTIONS!
  3. Your monthly shared living expense of $1250.00 must be paid in a timely manner to Tolar Sober Living’s Owner. A $25 fee will be charged for late payments.  Failure to pay shared living expenses on time may result in immediate dismissal from Tolar Sober Living. A three-month commitment is required.
  4. Because we are a group dedicated to practicing the principles of recovery, we are expected to participate actively in 12 Step meetings and to work closely with a 12 Step sponsor. It is essential that each guest commit to practicing their own daily spiritual disciplines.
  5. We are expected to attend all weekly community meetings and special house meetings. Un-excused absences may result in immediate dismissal from Tolar Sober Living.
  6. We are expected to respect each other’s right to anonymity and personal property. Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here!
  7. Housemates must be notified if you will be gone overnight (after your 30-day probation period). As a courtesy, it is expected that you give a number where you can be reached in case of an emergency.
  8. We are expected to have full-time /part-time jobs, do volunteer work, attend Intensive Outpatient Treatment, or attend school while living at Tolar Sober Living. (Must reach one of these goals by 60 days). No exception.
  9. All prescription and over-the-counter medication must be kept in a locked box with your own personal belongings. You are expected to follow all doctors’ orders for self-care and medication. All prescribed medications must have a label from the pharmacy where they were obtained. ANY misuse or distribution of said medication is grounds for immediate dismissal from Tolar Sober Living.
  10. Do not use anyone’s personal items without permission. Mark all your personal items with your initials. Taking some else’s personal property without permission constitutes theft and will be dealt with immediately by the house.
  11. We are responsible for our own valuables including cash, jewelry etc. Tolar Sober Living is not responsible for any valuables.
  12. Gambling and loaning of money is prohibited.
  13. Loaning your car to other guests is prohibited.
  14. If you notice something in disrepair anywhere in the building (FIX IT!) or notify Tolar Sober Living’s Owner.
  15. We are expected to have beds made and rooms neat and clean by 9:00 a.m. It is each guest’s responsibility to keep the Tolar Sober Living house neat and in order. Rooms cleaned, dusted and vacuumed once a week.
  16. Guests are encouraged to prepare and eat meals together as much as possible and help with cleanup for all meals. Dishes must be cleaned and put away each night before bed.
  17. Newspapers are to be always kept neatly on the kitchen table.
  18. Turn off lights, TV’s and radios when not in use. Keep the volume DOWN!
  19. We are expected to give a minimum of 30-day notice when moving out of Tolar Sober Living.
  20. Please keep your feet off the furniture. No sleeping in community areas.
  21. All food in the refrigerators that are guests’ must be maintained on assigned shelves. Please do not eat other people’s food without permission. Tolar Sober Living will supply milk, bread, eggs, condiments and many other foods and coffee.
  22. No pornography (magazines, videos, cable stations or internet) will be permitted in the house at any time.
  23. The appearance of Tolar Sober Living should ALWAYS be neat and in good order. If you make a mess, clean it up. When cooking, be sure to wipe up all spills and wash your dishes. Run dishwasher when full ONLY. Leave the kitchen ready for the next person to use.
  24. Do your assigned chores completely and during the scheduled time (see chores list). Assigned chores must be completed on Sunday before the weekly house meeting.
  25. No visitors allowed in the bedrooms. No visitors are allowed on the Tolar Sober Living premises between the hours of 10:00 p.m. to 10:00 a.m. Sunday through Thursday and Friday and Saturday between the hours of 11:00 p.m. to 10:00 a.m. Male visitors ONLY.
  26. Our curfew is 11:00 p.m. Sunday through Thursday. Our curfew is midnight on Friday and Saturday for the first 30 days in house. After 30 days in house Sunday through Thursday curfew is midnight and Friday and Saturday curfew is 1:00 a.m.
  27. When there is a phone call for someone who is unavailable, you must agree to take a written message. If you listen to the voice mail, again, take a written message before you erase the message.
  28. Please keep your shower time to a minimum (10 min or less). There are others who may need hot water.
  29. It is the responsibility of Tolar Sober Living guests to maintain the yard and sidewalks to the highest standards possible.
  30. Front door and front yard is not used for gathering. Use the back door and back yard for gathering and/or smoking (in designated areas).  Keep the volume down in the back yard.


We are dedicated to empowering people with the tools and the skills to live healthy and productive lives. Our home is committed to providing a drug and alcohol free setting in which to begin the recovery process.